Information for the new Stoner ( and for the old Stoner)

Some friendly advice, as sometimes I get asked about weed from people who might not have tried it, or might be afraid of it, so here is a little guide

 

  • First of all, understand that weed is a tree. It’s a tree, herb, plant, bush, whatever you want to call it. It is not made in a lab or in somebody’s basement. God or nature or evolution or whatever you believe in created it, not man.
  • Right now, right this second, as you read this, you need to forget everything you were ever told about weed. Forget everything that was told to you by TV, the media, the government, society, your family, your friends, your teachers, EVERYBODY. Good or bad. As of this second, pretend that you don’t know anything about weed. From now on, anything you learn about weed needs to be something you learn by doing your research, your own experimentation, your own experiences, by your own deductions, and your own reasoning. Ask people their opinions and ideas and experiences, but remember to make your own deductions.
  • So, my next point is that weed is healthy. It is not bad for you, it does not cause cancer, it does not make you obese. On the contrary, weed is good for you. Now, go back and read the point before. Don’t believe anything I say. Go do your own research. Call me a liar, and go look up for yourself whether weed causes cancer, whether its bad or not. 
  • Having said that, I will tell you that in my own experience, weed is the best medicine I have ever found. I am one of these people that doesn’t like pills. If I’m not absolutely dying, I would rather not take medicine. I hate doctors, hospitals, blood, it just all doesn’t appeal to me.  The times I feel most ‘normal’ and my thoughts are most ‘organized’ is when I’m high. 
  • You always hear it: a couple that smokes together, stays together. And I can truthfully say that weed is a big reason why my relationship is what it is today. No argument me and my wife have lasts longer than an hour when we talk it over a jay or a couple bowl packs. Also, some weed strains are aphrodisiacs so obviously the sex is just beyond description. High sex is just…… you don’t know what sex is until you’ve had it high. 
  • Weed is an instant ice breaker. If you smoke, and somebody else smokes, and that’s the only thing you two have in common, that’s all you need. You can be best friends. Stoners consider other stoners family. I have millions of friends that I never even met. You are a group hunted by others, so by that logic you have a bond other things cannot bring you
  • If you decide that you like weed and it becomes an important part of your life, you need to understand one thing. Your relationships are never gonna be the same again. You can’t be in a long term relationship with a person who doesn’t smoke like you do. I always say this because it’s almost common sense. If you do anything every day, and want to continue doing it every day, you can’t be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t approve of it. Regardless of what it is.
  • You need to be very careful if you live where weed is not legalized. Don’t ever drive with weed in your car if it’s late at night. Don’t give the cops a reason to pull you over. Possession charges are no joke. And you can say goodbye to getting any good job.
  • Find a balance. Anything, no matter how beneficial, if taken to an extreme, becomes harmful. Drink too much water you die. So, if you like weed, don’t over-like it. Don’t let it become more important than your family and friends and relationships. Don’t let it become more important than your grades. If you do, it becomes a problem. 
  • In your head, draw a picture of what you think a functioning, active stoner should be like. Fuck the stereotypes and fuck all the potheads you know and fuck all the weed movies you’ve ever seen. What do YOU think? What do you want to be like? If you don’t want to become a lazy stoner, don’t. If you don’t want to put on 20 pounds, don’t.
  • This one is one of the most important pieces of advice I could ever give you: No matter what you do, always make your parents proud. WHAT? I’ll tell you what. If your education is important to your parents, then don’t let weed fuck up your education. If going to family functions is important to your parents, don’t let weed stop you from going. That way, if someday your parents find out you smoke, and they freak out, you can look them straight in the eye and say: “yes, dear parents, I do smoke weed, but here, look at my grades.” What are they gonna say then? Think about it.
  • Your taste in music is probably going to completely change. Go with it. Explore new genres. Find new artists. Re-learn what music is. Weed does wonders to music.
  • Everything you did as a kid is gonna become your new fav thing to do high. You’re gonna wish you had weed when you were a kid. Enjoy the fuck out of your weed childhood. It’s like learning life all over again. Your opinions and views are probably gonna change. You might start doing things differently. But that is also the reason to wait until adulthood before trying weed.  Let kids be kids and let adults who smoke weed be kids again.  No need to mix things up
  • The world of weed is like a whole new world. New language too. So just learn all you can. Ask what strains you’re smoking and remember them and think about what you like about each one and which one gives you a head high vs body high.
  • Smoking pieces is better than smoking papers, and smoking papers is better than smoking blunts.
  • 2 new words you need to know. 1.Munchies. When you get hit with munchies, you feel like you’re a baby that has been living on milk all your life and you’re just starting to eat real food. Food tastes delicious. And you can eat as much as 30 grown men eat in one sitting. 2.Cotton mouth. That is what happens when you smoke really potent weed. Your mouth gets so dry it feels like a cotton field. Always have water.
  • If you don’t get high the first time you smoke, it’s ok. That’s normal. Smoke again.
  • Finally, know this, weed is what you make it. It could be your best friend if you let it. It will never let you down. Just don’t abuse it. Don’t make a god out of it. Just take it easy and slow and get to know weed, and enjoy the fuck out of that journey. It’s the most fun you’ll ever have as a stoner.

There’s a lot more to be said, but this is all I could think of right now. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to message me and ask me. 

Stay high :)