How to Get High in 2018: The Rolling Renaissance
Welcome back! This is part 3 of our back-to-basics. Missed the beginning? Here, you can catch up on Part 1 and Part 2. This week we're covering “The Roll”. No more hippie picking your weed and digging bits of green out of your teeth. Read on to become a papers professional:
Before the Roll
Before the Roll
Here's a typical rolling setup:
Right away you'll notice there's way more there than just weed and papers. Before you roll your green you'll need to grind it. Forget the old wooden grinders, those just soak up your tasty oils, depriving you! Nowadays grinders are typically plastic or metal, with a wide range of materials and price points. Anodized metals are safest option for colour on the teeth of the grinder because the metal itself has been coloured and not just coated. Meaning it won't chip off into your smoke like some lead coated knockoff. So that's cool if you're partial to not being poisoned. Some grinders have compartments below where the ground matter can fall through and get collected and stored for maximum convenience. Its easier to use the exact right amount without wasting, and if you have a model with a kief collector, even better. Best of all is a dedicated sifter box!
A great grinding option for portability is a card grater. It works essentially like a cheese grater, but for the love of Ganja do NOT try simply a cheese grater at home unless you want to remove your own fingerprints in anticipation of pulling off a heist. Even then, there are better ways to get your Thomas Crown Affair on. This one from Smokit is great because it also comes with a bat for when you just need a bit. Dugouts in general are a fantastic option for anyone that likes the look and feel of holding a doobie, but want an enduring option, or anyone who just wants a little hoot now and then. Load it up in the morning and you can take it with you all day.
Whether you have a collector grinder or not, eventually you'll need to get that herb out so you can roll it. In comes the rolling tray with specially designed sides. You know what's easier than trying to balance a magazine or other found object on your knees?
Seriously, it's a game changer. If you've ever dropped weed while rolling this thing would have already paid for itself. The sloped sides mean you can get every crumb, and nothing is falling out, even when you're on you're third doobie and maybe not exactly paying attention. Okay we're ready for:
In the future we'll cover crazy rolling styles, so today let's talk about the papers themselves. There are several types of papers, including the traditional pulp, flax, rice, and of course, hemp. There was even a trend for awhile to use clear cellulose papers, and if you're ballin' for the Midas touch, 24K gold is sure to satisfy. Flavoured papers have become a whole genre on it's own. Juicy Jay leads the pack with over 30 different flavours, from Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough to Absinthe. Dragonfly are one of my favorite brands, each pack comes in a sealed foil pack for freshness. Skunk Papers have some really funky flavours, like Hawaiian and Skunkalicious. Other nifty innovations include credit card papers, wired papers for easy rolling, and self sticking papers, when the cottonmouth is just too much.
You also have to consider size. Single wide papers are the old skool Zig Zag size, often rolled without a filter. 1 ¼ size hold about 25% more than a single wide, and are slightly wider and longer. These are easier to roll into a cone shape and accommodate a filter. 1 ½ size are the same length as a 1 ¼, but slightly wider. It's not a super common size, but makes a nice sized doobie for 2-3 friends to share. Double wide papers vary a bit in size, but generally this is the closest to a square paper you can get, in case to want to make fat doobies, or very tiny origami swans.
King size and king size slim are both about the same length, but slims are generally for slender straight rolls, while kings are usually used for cones. For larger rolls than that, look to paper rolls where you can select your own length, or perhaps you need a full 12” super doobie to celebrate your birthday. Or your anniversary. Or your hairdresser's cousins' neighbour's kid's quinceanera. Whatever dude, live it up!
Filter or Roach
It's the age old question. Less practiced smokers may prefer dealing with a roach to trying to put in a filter, and roach clips come in great for that. But as your rolling progresses, and as you become more of a connoisseur of weed, the thought of smoking old roaches is enough to make you reconsider your stance. But for real folks, stop ripping up business cards! There's a better way! Personally I prefer the new reuseable glass tips, but we even have our own line of filters in every size imaginable because that's how we roll.
To skip all that practice and get right to rolling perfect joints every time, you need to get your hands on a rolling machine. We are tool users, and just as we don't bash rocks together to light our spliffs, we should embrace our innovations that make our lives easier. I particularly like the Chong Roller because come on, dude knows his shit. We Edmontonians are like that. Another great option is to just grab some prerolled cones for the party. Pack them up and have everyone marvel at your doobie prowess.
Waiting to Exhale
Legalization is almost upon us, but we know that doesn't mean you want to fill your house with smoke. Options like the smoke buddy are great because they can hold a large amount of smoke and filter it way more effectively than dryer sheets in a tube. No, that didn't work as well as you thought it did.
There you have it. A nice setup can make joint rolling into a self care routine, a moment to stop for a minute and appreciate the process of crafting something for yourself that you know you'll thoroughly enjoy. Stay lifted friends.
Next week is vaporizers and I'm so excited, it's giving me the vapors like a corset wearing Victorian lady. I do declare you should follow us on Facebook, IG and Twitter to get the latest and the greatest, including our upcoming In-House Primer. Registration is open!